Comic 89 - Seek out the thieves guild

21st May 2018, 11:15 PM in High Roads, Low Roads, Threeroads
Average Rating: 4.5 (2 votes) Rate this comic
Seek out the thieves guild
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Author Notes:

Morgenstern 21st May 2018, 11:15 PM edit delete
You ask the guard if they need any work done. You can magically reinforce objects, which makes them far more resilient--the entertainers guild would save a fortune on repairs.

"Oh, yeah," the guard says with a subdued chuckle. "That does sound pretty handy. Pretty lucrative, too. I bet you could make... I dunno, prob'ly a 1000g at least doin' that somewhere else."

You ask the guard... hypothetically... what might be required to get in on your sexual entertainment skills.

He chuckles a little harder. "You'd have to get in line. You got no idea how often we get that--turns out a lot of people think they're pretty good at sex. Right now, we're only takin' on entertainers o' that flavor if they're unique. Y'know... real niche fetishy types."

Lastly, you ask the guard how HE got into the entertainers guild.

"I got a beautiful singin' voice," he says.

You find a nearby alley, and you down a disguise potion.

You are now a woman.

"Oh, wow!," Justice exclaims. "Was that magic? I am very impressed!"

"Toootally just alchemy," Valley replies. "There's probably magic that can do that, though?"

You ask Valley and Justice if they have any talents you don't know about.

"Only my unshakeable faith in the goddess!," Justice replies.

Valley flexes her... boobs. Probably her pecs, more specifically, but while keeping her entire body motionless, she makes her breasts move.

It's a feat, to be sure, but you doubt it's enough to get you into the entertainers guild.

You consider changing into a different outfit, but uhhh... there's not much privacy to be found in the middle of the Threeroads, and you're not sure what the laws concerning indecent exposure are like. You continue on looking for the thieves guild.

As before, you're totally lost. The city is large, and far fewer people seem to know where the thieves guild is than the entertainers guild. When you finally do get directions, they seem... incorrect? If the details were accurate, it would put the thieves guild... squarely in an alley.

After wandering around a while longer, you take your chances with the alley. Back there is a man mostly dressed in belts, standing near a cellar door.

You ask him if he knows where the thieves guild is. Without saying anything, he pulls out a thieves guild membership card and holds it up.

You pull out the card Mel gave you, and show it to him in turn.

He opens the cellar for you.

Valley crosses her arms, eyeing the man. "I swear, if you're like... a serial killer? And this is a setup? I will totally find you and smash your face in."

The man just silently motions toward the cellar. Justice has already made her way inside. You and Valley follow.


"Welcome, ladies," begins the elf behind the counter, "to the Threeroads thieves guild."


Barswanian 22nd May 2018, 12:26 AM edit delete reply
Well, Mel may be disappointed. :/

But now that we're here, we should still ask for Mel.
Kateluvya 22nd May 2018, 12:28 AM edit delete reply
Just found this comic thanks to a banner ad on Oglaf. It is amazing and I love it!

If there's a moment to talk with Justice, maybe get more info about the Father, and when everything changed (sex was no longer bad, they stopped helping out the poor as much)- something is pretty sketchy there...
Royell 22nd May 2018, 2:40 AM edit delete reply
Justice already implied that, in her opinion at least, the church is focusing its resources on getting their new temple up and running, after which they'll get back to the normal stuff. Additionally, Justice didn't seem to know much about the bishop anyway, stating that she hadn't had many interactions with him.
We can ask, but honestly i don't think Justice knows much more about the politics of the church, considering we found her completely focused on trying to figure out a way to help the poor.
The chicken guy 22nd May 2018, 8:01 AM edit delete reply
It does give me a Medieval Catholic Church vibe. Low-ranking are actually devoted, higher ups are in it for power.
Kateluvya 22nd May 2018, 12:30 AM edit delete reply
Just to clarify- this comic is amazing. That's not to say that Oglaf isn't, just that the compliment was intended for here.
Magister Dicks it 22nd May 2018, 11:37 AM edit delete reply
Me too, I got to know this yesterday through oglaf :D
Green Visitor 22nd May 2018, 4:24 PM edit delete reply
+1 to that, got back to regular Oglaf after seeing a banner on erfworld, which I started reading because it was hosted on the same page as order of the stick.
undeadDreamer 22nd May 2018, 1:06 AM edit delete reply
...Guys do we even know if Mel is into gals?
Fireopal 22nd May 2018, 1:15 AM edit delete reply
I guess we'll find out. If not, we'll have a penis again in 24 hours.
Espylacopa 22nd May 2018, 1:17 AM edit delete reply
Yeah, I think we do. She made an offer to the summoner who hired her.

"Me an' the orc both tried, trust me. She only fucks monsters."
Rubber 22nd May 2018, 4:44 AM edit delete reply
It's a shame we didn't get to try the summoner, I guess there's plenty of fish in the sea though ;)

Speaking of charming elves, we should try and chat up this one too
SolomontheLionheart 22nd May 2018, 1:48 AM edit delete reply
Honestly though, we probably didn't need a disguise for the thieves guild, can't imagine there are many arrests.

We should ask the elf for Mel and also about the disguise potions. Probably about the entertainers guild too.
Espylacopa 22nd May 2018, 2:19 AM edit delete reply
Whether or not the thieves guild is likely to call the guards on Nast "They got pictures of his face put up all over town." and we asked a lot of people for directions.
Gallstone 22nd May 2018, 10:53 AM edit delete reply
Besides, there's no honour amomg thieves. They could turn us in for the reward as soon as we leave their guild!
Professor Cupcake 22nd May 2018, 3:51 AM edit delete reply
Regarding getting into the Entertainer's Guild: What about Lagrand? He's a pretty dramatic guy, maybe he can put on a decent performance.
SolomontheLionheart 22nd May 2018, 3:59 AM edit delete reply
With his billowy cape :D
Gallstone 22nd May 2018, 7:44 AM edit delete reply
And his dramatic pants.
Korsha 22nd May 2018, 4:54 AM edit delete reply
Get insulted, and go off on the elf behind the counter on how they shouldn't assume your gender
The chicken guy 22nd May 2018, 7:50 AM edit delete reply
Given that our disguise is trying to be a different gender, probably not the best idea.
Reya 22nd May 2018, 7:22 AM edit delete reply
Charm the elf while you ask for Mel, and inspect the other beings in the room (without staring, if that's possible).
The chicken guy 22nd May 2018, 7:48 AM edit delete reply
Agreed. That jester person looks significant.
Barswanian 22nd May 2018, 9:24 AM edit delete reply
Works for me.

Who knows, "ask for mel" might be a code word.

We should really find a mask for Nast. We've only got one potion left

The jester stands a chance at having an in at the entertainer's guild.
Gallstone 22nd May 2018, 7:44 AM edit delete reply
It... might not be a good sign that random passersby knew where the thieves' guild is... and were willing to direct a complete stranger there, even with Je ne sais quoi.
A reader 22nd May 2018, 8:25 AM edit delete reply
I would like a sense of time in this. Like how many days have passed since we started the adventure? Also I makes sense that certain spells and actions can only be completed at certain time of day can only sleep at night
A reader 22nd May 2018, 8:48 AM edit delete reply
What about a list of active quests that include things that we are yet to do and things that are planned to do but haven’t been done yet.
To help us keep track of things
Cloudy 22nd May 2018, 4:19 PM edit delete reply
I think quests and NPC’s are up to us to remember.
ZincFingers 22nd May 2018, 9:33 AM edit delete reply
Hang about, we got our Disguise Potions from Ranse, but we never found out why she was hoarding them.
Professor Cupcake 22nd May 2018, 1:10 PM edit delete reply
Professor Cupcake
That... raises a fair point. Might be worth asking, if there's a quiet moment.
Mochi 22nd May 2018, 1:33 PM edit delete reply
if i had to guess, i'd say her reasons are purely recreational
Gallstone 22nd May 2018, 1:38 PM edit delete reply
Ranse has mentioned an ex, and that she painted her hair while they were together.
Maybe they engaged in other kinds of transformation as well... to experiment.
Guest 22nd May 2018, 1:49 PM edit delete reply
Flexing pecs is extremely entertaining.
Is there no Old Spice adverts in this world?
Gallstone 22nd May 2018, 2:09 PM edit delete reply
Ah... Tastes will differ, so this is just my opinion, okay?

I SINCERELY hope not! Those commercials just irk me. ^^;
Cloudy 22nd May 2018, 4:21 PM edit delete reply
Gallstone nooo ;-;
A serious commercial full of so many non sequiturs...