Comic 88 - Find the entertainer's guild

21st May 2018, 3:49 PM in High Roads, Low Roads, Threeroads
Average Rating: 5 (2 votes) Rate this comic
Find the entertainer's guild
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Author Notes:

Morgenstern 21st May 2018, 3:49 PM edit delete
You decide that your current active party will be yourself, Justice, and Valley.

The three of you leave the roadside cathedral and travel north. It's not a very long journey up the road, and you arrive in Threeroads pretty quickly.

It is... a much bigger town than you're accustomed to. There's numerous shops, including smaller vendor stands setup along the street in certain neighborhoods.

While Justice and Valley have both been in Threeroads before, Valley didn't stay here long and Justice has never visited the entertainer's guild. You end up asking random passersby for directions, but eventually, you find yourself in front of the entertainer's guild.

...Where a very large man in very fancy looking armor is guarding the door.

You start to confer with Valley about how to approach this situation, but Justice strolls confidently right up to the towering guard.

"Good afternoon!," Justice declares. "We would like to enter the entertainer's guild, please."

The man in the armor chuckles. "Oh, yeah? Well, this's a very exclusive guild. You got a membership card, little lady?"

"I do not!," Justice replies with the exact same level of confidence.

Valley sighs, and steps forward. "How would we like... get one of those?"

"There's a few ways," the guard says. "Depends on how you wanna go about it. You can get a card from another member of the guild, but they don't pass 'em out real freely.

You can prove you're a good entertainer: sing me a song, do a dance, juggle, I don't give a shit. You entertain me--and I mean really entertain me, not just me laughin' at how bad a juggler you are--I'll give you a card.

That covers friends of the guild and active members of the guild, the people that do all the work. There's one last way in, and that's for vendors--folks that do business with the active members. We don't want some cheapos rollin' up here, tryin' to beg for lapdances or whatever on the cheap. We want the finest clientele, 'cuz this ain't a charity... so you gotta prove you got the dough. You pay me 1000g, I'll give you a membership card."

"That sounds reasonable! I understand completely," Justice replies.

Valley scoffs. "I don't! That's like... a most heinous price. I've never even SEEN 1000g at the same time?"

"Hey," the guard says, "don't complain. You're lucky I'm givin' you guys a chance to enter the guild at all, strollin' up with THAT guy." He gives a very firm nod to you, specifically. "They got pictures of his face put up all over town. I ain't judgin', though."


Barswanian 21st May 2018, 4:25 PM edit delete reply
So, unless reinforcing something is entertaining,I don't think we'll be entering right away.

Let's confer with Valley and Justice, in case they have any hidden talents or suggestions: (it's possible amazing sex gets us in, if the entertainer's guild is where we would hire someone for satisfying a goblin tribe).
We should likely also put that purple robe/cloak back to use as a scarf to at least not be immediately obvious.
Barswanian 21st May 2018, 6:08 PM edit delete reply
I'm not volunteering Justice or Valley for sex work per se, but coming up with an act involving the deed might be a surprising entertainment.
A cleric, enchanter and minitaur enter a bar. The world is never the same.

But really, it seems key to inquire with allies.
Barswanian 21st May 2018, 6:40 PM edit delete reply
Also, conferring with Justice & Valley could happen on the way to buying a cake. Yay cake.
Gallstone 21st May 2018, 4:26 PM edit delete reply
Carp and mackerel!

First order of business, and I mean FIRST, is to get into an alley and get a better disguise on, before a city guard spots us!

After that, we can talk about finding a way to entertain the guard or get in good with a patron.
Even if we do, it may not be easy to find an entertainer willing to do the nasty with the whole goblin tribe. Sounds like they might be making mad money in there, if they can afford to charge this much for a membership card...
The chicken guy 21st May 2018, 5:41 PM edit delete reply
First of all, love the "Carp and Mackerel!". Second, I don't think our disguise is awful, but you raise a legitimate point about caution. Third, I say we get some information from this guy. See if there's anything that the guild needs, who the important figures are, etc.
Gallstone 21st May 2018, 4:28 PM edit delete reply
I think the vendor route might be our best bet. We can use Reinforce to save the guild a fortune on wear and tear on whatever.
Barswanian 21st May 2018, 4:33 PM edit delete reply
We'd still need to come up with a lot of money.

Unless one of our girls or Nast has a hidden talent, it's sex work or come back later. The thieve's guild may have someone with a card to get in.

Maybe we can tell the guard that our style of entertainment is not for use in public, due to it's risque nature?
Gallstone 21st May 2018, 4:37 PM edit delete reply
I'd feel iffy about signing any of our party members or ourselves up for sex work, especially as we don't yet know exactly what goes on in this guild.

Hawking our ability to Reinforce and thus cut down the guild's expenses on maintenance still seem like our best bet to me. These folks are about the money, and a business that can cut down on upkeep on its properties can make a tidy profit.
SolomontheLionheart 21st May 2018, 5:13 PM edit delete reply
But we can hardly commit to enchanting their stuff long term. It's a good idea, but it drains us to do, especially with the amount necessary to be worth that kind of money.
And Barswanian is right, even if we could, we're not even close to having the kind of money he wants just for entry. Best to explore first and go to thieves guild.
Cloudy 21st May 2018, 11:13 PM edit delete reply
A reinforced object stays as such until broken, and is no longer a further strain on our power. We can do a bunch of small things or a couple of medium or large things, given the amount we used it so far.
Twyll 21st May 2018, 4:32 PM edit delete reply
Hmmm. Does Nast happen to have a hidden talent at burlesque dancing or anything? ...Does Justice, maybe? :P

With that je ne sais quois, Nast might actually be pretty good at stripping...
Gallstone 21st May 2018, 4:35 PM edit delete reply
With Je ne sais quoi active, I worry if Nast starts a striptease act, there'll be a run on the stage by randy customers. o_o
The chicken guy 21st May 2018, 5:43 PM edit delete reply
Also, in relation to Gallstone's other comment, striping would be the exact opposite of putting on a better disguise
1977 21st May 2018, 4:43 PM edit delete reply
Peasant Attire would have been better probably.

Earning 1000g takes too much time so "Let Me Entertain You"!

Though which version is better?

Queen OR Robbie Williams?
SolomontheLionheart 21st May 2018, 5:08 PM edit delete reply
Queen. Obviously.
Royell 21st May 2018, 5:04 PM edit delete reply
We can cash in that free entry we have into the thieves guild (remember, the half elf told us how to get in), and go from there. They could hook us up with a disguise, possibly even help us get in here.
SolomontheLionheart 21st May 2018, 5:10 PM edit delete reply
Benjerbro 21st May 2018, 5:26 PM edit delete reply
Guest 21st May 2018, 5:46 PM edit delete reply
Could be good, but Justice might not approve.
Barswanian 21st May 2018, 6:39 PM edit delete reply
Heading to the Theives guild makes sense. If Justice seems reluctant, maybe ask her to check with our companions to see if they've got any hidden entertaining talents? Lagrand might, for instance.
Krylo 21st May 2018, 5:07 PM edit delete reply
We should just find a member. Je Nai Sais Quois should make talking someone into giving us one pretty easy.

I don't think we should sign up for membership as entertainers as we don't know what kind of responsibility that comes with, and the only way we're making 1000g is to go do every other quest we have or to rob someone. And even if we get the money we'll still need to hire people for the goblins.
SolomontheLionheart 21st May 2018, 5:18 PM edit delete reply
This is the Best idea for dealing with the entertainer's guild.
SolomontheLionheart 21st May 2018, 5:20 PM edit delete reply
Unless of course we can bonk our way in and learn a new spell at the same time
Royell 21st May 2018, 5:36 PM edit delete reply
Thieves guild is likely in tight with the entertainers guild, just saying.
Krylo 21st May 2018, 6:55 PM edit delete reply
I agree that the thieves guild is a good first stop to find someone who can give us a card. Plus we can inquire about other things.
SolomontheLionheart 21st May 2018, 5:09 PM edit delete reply
Unless someone has a talent, we'll have to come back later. Thieves guild first instead.
The chicken guy 21st May 2018, 5:47 PM edit delete reply
Could we pass Valley off as a world-renowned tap-dancer? No, but I wish we could......
Barswanian 21st May 2018, 6:46 PM edit delete reply
She does have a cowbell. If Justice has a singing voice...
But all of that requires conferring with our friends.
Let's go buy a cake, put on our purple scarf and visit the Theives guild.
Tech 21st May 2018, 5:23 PM edit delete reply
Start singing Bohemian Rapshoddy. Everyone loves that song.
The chicken guy 21st May 2018, 5:49 PM edit delete reply
Don't be silly. This is a fantasy world, and guards in fantasy worlds are notorious for not liking any Queen but their own.
Cloudy 21st May 2018, 11:16 PM edit delete reply
Nieki 21st May 2018, 6:21 PM edit delete reply
Well, CRUD. Our first order of business is to get a much more permanent disguise--scratch that. Our FIRST first order of business is: Find a secluded spot to quaff one of our Disguise Potions and change into our Peasant Outfit. ASAP. We can worry about getting in with the thieves after that.
Barswanian 21st May 2018, 6:31 PM edit delete reply
If we go into the thieves guild as a female, we may lose Mel, who is expecting a date with a male Nast.
Guest 21st May 2018, 6:34 PM edit delete reply
Insufficient riches and talent? Prob leaves us with "friends of the guild" option. Try things first, may give us more information.
1)First ask Justice if she has any unknown talents.
2) Ask the fancy guard how he joined the entertainers guild, may give clue on where to meet members.
3) Valley attempting to entertain with the earthbreaker skill could be a literal door opener.
4) Valley wanted to combine abilities. We should at least try that.
("We should like... try to combine our stuff? Y'know, like... you do the twisty air thing, and Ranse can shoot fire in it. Or like... I could stomp rocks into the wind dealie.")
Portal In Time 21st May 2018, 6:38 PM edit delete reply
Portal In Time
Welp, hey. Guess we've gotta fuck the gatekeep now. (Joking, probably)
TheOneOddish 21st May 2018, 6:46 PM edit delete reply
Try the card that Mel gave you
Magister Dicks it 21st May 2018, 8:30 PM edit delete reply
I started reading this today, I'm loving it, reminds me of Your Adventure in
In one of the first chapters (22), Valley says:
"Those Recovereats are gross. They taste like... I dunno, water, in food form. If somebody could like, invent a cake that heals they'd be a millionaire."

Can't we grind a recovereat and stuck it inside a sweet cake?
Or even have Justice make a miracle on water or some food and use that to help the poor and sell to the public?
Magister Dicks it 21st May 2018, 9:27 PM edit delete reply
I wonder if they could sell some cakes with random silly temporary effects, kids would love it no?

Lol, this is about an adventure and here I am thinking of ways to make a business, though this wouldn't necessarily require them to stay in one place.
The milk also has healing powers right? I wonder if they can make potions out of it.
WondersandThinkers 21st May 2018, 9:14 PM edit delete reply
First time commenter, but I have a weird feeling about the goblin quest.
Have we maybe jumped too quick at the goblin chief's request for a tribal train?
What do the fem-gobs think of the fellas plan?
Maybe the fem-gobs need to be sexier?
Maybe the fem-gobs just need to remind the boys what they've got at home?
Maybe we should give every fem-gob "one turn" just so the fellas get a little jealous?
Maybe we'll finally get to see what Inzo's packing?
The chicken guy 21st May 2018, 9:44 PM edit delete reply
GOOD POINT. But Inzo did state that he was uninterested.
Magister Dicks it 21st May 2018, 11:08 PM edit delete reply
I thought that as well before but I forgot xD thank you for pointing it out!
I bet the female goblins have some power over their male population and that they can kick their ass if needed be.
Let's make all the goblins too tired to want to fuck more. Inzo could use that to seize power more easily
Shadoe 21st May 2018, 9:42 PM edit delete reply
We got a card from the thief did we not?
The chicken guy 21st May 2018, 10:26 PM edit delete reply I found an accurate summary of our plans so far.