Comic 79 - Try diplomacy, again

17th May 2018, 4:39 PM in Humble Beginnings at Humblestart
Average Rating: 5 (1 votes) Rate this comic
Try diplomacy, again
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Author Notes:

Morgenstern 17th May 2018, 4:39 PM edit delete
You attempt diplomacy once more. You're clearly better armed than the bandits anticipated, and whatever the summoner's paying them can't be worth the trouble.

You ask once more why they're here.

"Just... forget it!," the summoner shouts over the small tornado that continues to spiral around her. "Let's just go! Forget about it!"

You look at the half-elf thief. She smirks. "So, our summoner learns spells by fuckin'."

"It's not that weird!," the summoner yells louder, her face turning bright red. "Different things help different people think, okay?!"

You unconvincingly declare that you've never heard of such a thing. Valley snorts.

The thief continues. "But, see, she's a summoner. She summons monsters. Sooo... y'know." She waggles her eyebrows, and suggestively glances at the nearest chicken.

"Oh," Ranse says flatly. She gives a small sigh. "Th... the rancher wasn't... justbeingracist. Th-the elf... is actually trying to fuck. O-One of the chickens. I... think... I hate this ranch."

Valley huffs, throwing her head back in frustration. "Like, the chickens don't mate? They don't like... even have THE PARTS? Are you totally mental?"

"...Wait, seriously?," the summoner asks.

"Pshyeah," replies Valley. "The birds are like, totally unfuckable."

"Can't..." Ranse takes a breath. "Can't believe we're... having this conversation."

Your small tornado dies down. The summoner bows her head. "Well, shoot."

"You're still payin' us, right?," the thief asks.

"YES!," the summoner yells. She follows it up with another shout, but doesn't actually say anything in this one--she just... kind of roars, as much as a wood elf summoner can.

"So... incrediblydumb," Ranse mumbles.


TerraNova 17th May 2018, 4:54 PM edit delete reply
Offer her some consolation, she's had a rough time. Also see if we can offer a chance to relax with some more "regular" activities *wink wink*
Dime Show 17th May 2018, 6:19 PM edit delete reply
1977 17th May 2018, 5:02 PM edit delete reply
I'm wondering if mages are the only ones learning by fucking.
Just imagine it works with other jobs as well, like say a teacher. Would he learn by fucking or would he give you the lessons?
K3001 17th May 2018, 5:14 PM edit delete reply
Hm... does she know how to summon a goblin? Or army of those? Hm... continue with diplomacy, maybe even making this conversation even more aukward
1977 17th May 2018, 5:22 PM edit delete reply
Tell her you could help her in summoning goblins of all kinds.
Maybe she's more interested in summoning slimes, but then she has to wait, you will be KingSlimes first.

You could ask if they are interested in helping with your quests.
And then you can list all your quests so far:
- fucking the goblintribe
- fucking the KingSlime
- fucking the fairies
- fucking all the women in the world
- catch the real pantiethief to clear your name
I think that's it so far or have I forgotten some quests?
Guest 17th May 2018, 5:56 PM edit delete reply
Definitely think the summoner would be interested in the goblins
Dime Show 17th May 2018, 6:05 PM edit delete reply
fucking all the women of the world
- and some of the men

but yeah, tell her about the goblins
Guest 17th May 2018, 6:32 PM edit delete reply
We might want to have this conversation privately. She seems a bit embarrassed.
Krylo 17th May 2018, 6:34 PM edit delete reply
+1 to suggesting goblins.

Also suggest she might learn how to summon an enchanter.
Wolfe 17th May 2018, 7:04 PM edit delete reply
+1 to all of this except the privately part, her embarrassment is amusing.
Fireopal 17th May 2018, 7:39 PM edit delete reply
+1 to a public conversation with her. This is too much fun. Also, we should make her aware of our discovery that magic changes a male magic user's semen. Inquire if she wants to sample, and tell her that we are interested in seeing if magic also changes the genital fluid of women and ask if she'd like to help us find out. For science.
THeMightyDragonLizard 17th May 2018, 8:41 PM edit delete reply
Agreed, tell her about the Goblins, and maybe the faries... Might want to a void the slime, we don't need any of that horse crap.
Eyebrows 17th May 2018, 6:20 PM edit delete reply
Heeeeeeeeey ever done goblins? Or a king slime? We might be able to help. Who knows you might even be able to get a new spell from an enchanter.
Fireopal 17th May 2018, 7:42 PM edit delete reply
+1 to all of this.
Nieki 17th May 2018, 7:05 PM edit delete reply
You know what, I'm actually with Ranse on this one. This IS incredibly dumb. Learning spells by fucking things? Who DOES that?

*clears throat*

Propose she let come to the ranch with us--without her 'friends'--so we can get her to promise she won't be doing this dumb stunt again. She could just earn money and BUY a dang chicken, after all--she has enough to pay mercenaries, so why not just... buy a chicken?

The conversation about the Goblins and King Slime is one we might wanna have in a more private setting. Maybe with our resident mechanic present.

But, uh, after that? Valley and Ranse have earned some time with us to blow off steam. This whole escapade has been absurd, but they've been incredibly cool.

(It also might be worth making a mental note to get Ranse's opinion on Minitaur Milk, later. Sucking valley's breasts in the middle of a fight might be fun and impractical, but healing properties are the sort of things an Alchemist could do real good with.)
Krylo 17th May 2018, 7:38 PM edit delete reply
+1 on eventually talking to Ranse about minitaur milk
Fireopal 17th May 2018, 7:41 PM edit delete reply
I think we just need to have an orgy with our party and their party. Except for Inzo, of course, who we know will not be interested.
Tungsten 17th May 2018, 9:27 PM edit delete reply
so, wait, she learns a new spell for each new species she fucks?

Ask if she's been with a minitaur yet.