Comic 75 - Consider chickens, check on the minitaurs

15th May 2018, 10:18 PM in Humble Beginnings at Humblestart
Average Rating: 5 (1 votes) Rate this comic
Consider chickens, check on the minitaurs
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Author Notes:

Morgenstern 15th May 2018, 10:18 PM edit delete
You consider the giant chickens. Faster transportation wouldn't be a bad idea, but you think one of these big birds could only carry two people, at most... and that's if neither of the two people are Valley. Inzo's mech would be right out, though he could probably build something to make his robot keep up.

You ask the rancher what the big chickens eat.

"Oh, they mostly forage fer 'emselves," he says. "They're real independent, jus' pet 'em once in a blue moon."

You decide to think about it more before committing to a purchase--two birds would still be pretty expensive.

You ask about the clerics, and the monsters attacking the ranch.

"Oh, th' clerics show up about once a week'r so. Tryin' ta spread th' good word or some hogwash like that, mostly askin' fer donations. I keep tellin' 'em I'm a Magist, but they don't get th' hint."

"Magist...?," Lagrand mutters. It's not quite loud enough to be an actual question.

"Magist," Ranse confirms. "They. ...Believe th... that the archmages. Became gods. After falling. O... one of th-the three main..." She sort of trails off before taking a breath. "Threemainreligions. Inthiscountry."

There's an uncomfortable silence.

"That's outrageous," Lagrand finally says. "The archmages were beasts, they did nothing to deserve worship."

"Hey now," the rancher replies. "They mighta' seen th' world diff'rent from you or me, but they made pretty much everything. Minitaurs, monsters, oceans an' forests an' th' sort... even these big ol' chickens."

"Minitaurs were mindless war weapons--slaves, at best," Lagrand snaps. "It's an impressive feat that they've found something more for themselves, and they owe no thanks to the archmages for it. Most monsters were the same, or... or accidents, often, mere side effects of careless spell casting! It's ridiculous that history has painted the archmages in such glowing terms. They were no heroes. They were ENDED by heroes!"

Lagrand and the rancher stare each other down. A tense silence ensues.

The rancher finally shrugs. "Look, I ain't real religious, I jus' pray when th' weather gets bad. I ain't gonna fight ya on it, y'seem to got more dog in this fight than me."

Lagrand sighs, tossing his hair with dramatic frustration.

The rancher picks up where he left off. "Them clerics got a temple on down th' road, if yer interested--right outside Threeroads. Think they mighta done got kicked outta town, personally. As fer th' monsters... eh, it's th' usual. Slimes too dumb to hop th' fence, some big ol' ants... caught an elf tryin' to break in a couple times, prob'ly tryin' to steal a chicken. Or fuck it, y'know how wood elves are."

Lastly, you ask if you can see where the minitaurs are milked.

"I'd normally say no, but..." the rancher shrugs. "It's been a slow week, an' I kinda like ya, kid. Sure, follow me."

The rancher leads you across the field to a small barn... shed... type building.


Inside are... well, two minitaurs, and one human woman. One of the minitaurs is sitting down and, as one might expect, the human is tugging at the tips of her huge tits... milking her into a glass jar, which she sometimes empties into a larger jug.

"How's it goin', ladies?," the rancher asks.

The standing minitaur yawns. "We oughta put a bed in here. Night shift sucks."

"Yeah," the rancher replies, "but them bakers in Threeroads'll be pissed if we don't catch up in time fer that... weddin', or whatever th' hell it was."

"Yeah, it was a weddin'," the woman doing the milking confirms. Everyone has very casual tones, nonchalant about the entire affair despite it... being... what it is.

"Besides," the rancher adds, "we HAD a bed in here. I took it out fer th' same reason I quit hirin' men to do th' milkin'."

"Oh, yeah," says the standing minitaur. The sitting one giggles.

Ranse looks... confused? Skeptical? She has a definite squint. After a moment, she seems to realize that you're staring at her; she looks away, toward one of the walls. "Th... they don't. Don't look p-pregnant."

"Ain't gotta be," says the rancher. "Ya overfeed 'em, you'll get milk. 'Specially sweet stuff. Ain't real hard to talk 'em into it, either."

The standing minitaur, hearing that, is suddenly reminded of something. Her eyes light up as she nearly shouts. "Hey! Didja ask about pumpkin pie like I told ya?"

"Yeah," the rancher huffs, "since ya kept buggin' me. They told me th' same thing I told YOU--it ain't th' season for pumpkin anything. Yer gonna have to wait a couple months, at least."

The minitaur sighs, and pouts. "Fine. ...I guess."

The rancher turns back to you. "Most ranches got like... a few families o' 'taurs they work with. I ain't been in th' game that long, so I just hire whatever minitaurs ain't already workin' fer someone else. All th' competition's up north, so I ain't gotta fight too hard 'round here."
Morgenstern 15th May 2018, 11:08 PM edit delete
As a side note, I've added a couple Nast-themed T-shirts to my online store. If there's any interest I'll try to add more, and probably add a proper link to the top of the page. The few Nast shirts I have currently are basically shitposting in shirt form, so also hit me up if there's any requests.

You can also help support me via Patreon, and get access to sprite work, ad space on the site, and other random goodies like page previews.


Hambone 15th May 2018, 11:54 PM edit delete reply
Well, doesn't seem to be any funny business here. Aside from, uhh, business as usual.
Guest 15th May 2018, 11:56 PM edit delete reply
Still, was worth checking. Maybe a chicken could be used for caring heavy objects, think that would be useful?
Gallstone 16th May 2018, 1:25 AM edit delete reply
Well, what the archmages did to the minitaurs was bad enough.
At least the rancher isn't keeping them as chained slaves. This arrangement's a bit icky, but not out-and-out Evil.
Ghest 16th May 2018, 3:18 AM edit delete reply
Icky? They get paid as well as provided food and shelter. I see nothing wrong with selling their milk if it's something they've chosen to do. It's kinda sexy.
Gallstone 16th May 2018, 3:22 AM edit delete reply
Let's just agree our tastes differ on this point.
Hambone 16th May 2018, 4:02 AM edit delete reply
I gotta say, I really did not expect this to be the most divisive topic so far.
echo 16th May 2018, 12:13 AM edit delete reply
Blame Wargog, Ranse. Blame Wargog.
Guest 16th May 2018, 12:22 AM edit delete reply
As for a suggestion on what we do next, maybe take care of the elves that were breaking in? Jobs mean money, or at the least favors. Could be useful to have a guy who seems to have a lot of resources in our debt.
Tech 16th May 2018, 12:43 AM edit delete reply
Maybe they know things. Things like:
Where are the bandits?
Where is the Church?
Where can we find someone willing to do the nasty with an inordinate ammount of goblins?
Nieki 16th May 2018, 1:16 AM edit delete reply
As enlightening as this is, I can't help but notice that NIGHT is steadily approaching. Plus, I'd kind of like to get Valley's perspective on this business. And we only have one tent.

What are our odds of getting to THREEROADS before it's too dark to safely travel?
Gallstone 16th May 2018, 1:26 AM edit delete reply
+1 to getting Valley's perspective and arranging a bivouac for the night.
TheMightDragonLizard 16th May 2018, 2:50 AM edit delete reply
Add another +1. Also I would suggest asking more about THREEROADS as well.
Guest 16th May 2018, 9:02 AM edit delete reply
+1 to Valley's opinion
Lapdragon 16th May 2018, 1:49 AM edit delete reply
Check with Valley, see if she might want to make a few gold tonight by getting a hearty meal and milking if she's in such position as to be milkable the next morning. It sounds like that farmer's in a pinch product-wise.

I'd buy a chicken - see if maybe he's got one that's no good for riding that we could buy cheaper than 75g - they look sturdy enough to carry a load, and an egg for breakfast for the party every few days is probably a good idea. Worst comes to worst, we can likely sell the chicken later.
Zinc 16th May 2018, 2:20 AM edit delete reply
+1 to perhaps having Valley milked for a monetary profit
Gallstone 16th May 2018, 3:24 AM edit delete reply
- 1. Vote against.
Valley wants to be a warrior, not do what other Minitaur women traditionally do. And this might be it.
Bloody archmages...
Hambone 16th May 2018, 7:47 AM edit delete reply
I'd have to side with Gallstone on this one. I don't see any problems with what's going on, but Valley would likely be offended by the suggestion she be worked like this.
Lapdragon 16th May 2018, 9:31 AM edit delete reply
I'm just saying to ask her if she'd be up for it, not to press-gang her into it. She's a randy sort (and sounds like the other two are too), and it might be something that minitaur women like to do - we don't know (both in-comic and IRL) enough about minitaurs to even be offensive on purpose, and Valley knows it.
Tech 16th May 2018, 10:24 AM edit delete reply
Also a -1 against.
Never upset the woman you're sleeping with
1977 16th May 2018, 1:57 AM edit delete reply
And now I'm suddenly thinking about a deal with the farmer.
I lend you my minitaur so she can help with your weddingorder, you lend me your two minitaurs afterwards for my quest with the goblintribe.
Then we have 3 minitaurs and 1 Nast for dealing (fucking) with the tribe.
Guest 16th May 2018, 9:03 AM edit delete reply
You forget, this is not slavery. The minitaurs have a say in this
1977 16th May 2018, 9:16 AM edit delete reply
I didn't mean we should force them to do it.
Of course we would ask Valley if she is interested in being milked and the other 2 if they are interested in fucking a ton of goblins.
Guest 16th May 2018, 3:01 PM edit delete reply
Ok, but somehow, I don't think they'd be interested. They have a pretty cushy gig, what with the free food and all.
1977 16th May 2018, 2:44 AM edit delete reply
Ask Ranse about the other 2 religions.

Ask about the problem with the elves.
Krylo 16th May 2018, 6:05 AM edit delete reply
IF we're going to suggest Valley be milked, and I don't think we should, but if we do, we should definitely ask her about it first.

Otherwise, lets go elf hunting on the way to the city.
Hambone 16th May 2018, 7:49 AM edit delete reply
Yeah, I'd discourage even asking her.
Guest 16th May 2018, 9:05 AM edit delete reply
Agreed, but maybe we could milk her later to get some inspiration for more spells?
Gallstone 16th May 2018, 1:47 PM edit delete reply
Valley has "inspired" Nast just fine without being milked so far. ;)
Guest 16th May 2018, 3:03 PM edit delete reply
True, but maybe different stuff equals different inspiration? Maybe if we get her to "produce", then it will inspire us with a spell that can produce acid, lube, or water (all of which could be useful to us)?
Guest 16th May 2018, 9:08 AM edit delete reply
We would need 3 chickens to transport the party, can't do that now. Maybe later, when we are richer adventurers
1977 16th May 2018, 10:32 AM edit delete reply
Just thought about it. Ask about minitaur-cheese.
Guest 16th May 2018, 3:04 PM edit delete reply
+1 purely for the weirdness of that question. I am now stupidly curious.
tungsten 16th May 2018, 3:46 PM edit delete reply
I know that this is a) fantasy, and b) silly smut, but if the lady minitaurs are being used for dairy, then they'd better be able to eat stuff humans aren't.