Comic 190 - Dress like a pirate

25th Jul 2018, 7:48 PM in High Roads, Low Roads, Threeroads
Average Rating: 5 (2 votes) Rate this comic
Dress like a pirate
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Author Notes:

Morgenstern 25th Jul 2018, 7:48 PM edit delete
You start by casting Identify on the weird eyes. There's... definitely magic there, but you don't detect any specific enchantments.

Next, you put on the pirate clothes, and pick up one of the cutlasses. You put your bandit bandana on your head, instead of over your mouth.

You are now dressed like a pirate.

It's... a surprisingly good disguise, with the eyepatch doing a lot to obscure your face.

"Is... that attire especially beneficial?," Emerald asks.

"Some times," Inzo begins, "man just want to dress like pirateses. Is sacred rite, wrong to find pirates things and not puts them on."

You pick up the rest of the stuff and add it to your inventory, just in case--and begin to ponder the next room.

Rather than blundering in and getting everyone turned into frogs, you suspect it may be better to have Emerald scout ahead. You know she can flatten herself out--that may make for a good, stealthy method of doing some reconnaissance.

"Of course," Emerald says with a smile. "Gladly."

She moves up to the door, flattening herself out to peek through it.

Inside are...


Well, three pirates and one frog.


"Argh," starts the dwarf in the captain's hat. "First that damned sea snake collapses th' tunnel, an' monsters show up around our secret stash... then an accursed fungus be turnin' me crew inta frogs!"

"I'm rather certain we can handle the fungus, Cap'n," says the pirate in the overcoat. "'Tis a weak monster, just caught us off guard is all."

"No, no," the captain protests, "I ain't riskin' another froggin'. Got ta come up with a plan, we do."

"Wait for crew," suggests the orc pirate.

The man in the overcoat sighs. The dwarf captain throws his head back. "Sheila, I din't want to be tellin' ye this, but they prob'ly done mutinee'd. S'been a few days, at least--if they ain't here by now, they ain't here. Fools an' cowards, th' lot of 'em. S'like we got a stinkin' curse, prob'ly that sea witch I broke th' heart of."

"Or that poker game with the ghosts you cheated at," points out the pirate in the overcoat.

"Or the siren. Grabbed her ass," suggests the orc.

"Really," the man in the overcoat continues, "you need t' stop doin' things what will get us cursed."

"Aye," the captain nods. "'Tis an ongoing problem, I'll give ye."


nathan400 25th Jul 2018, 8:08 PM edit delete reply
Curses! Have not been foiled again.
nathan400 25th Jul 2018, 8:11 PM edit delete reply
More seriously, these guys are desperate and stupid. A dangerous mix, but we have a Frog cure. Suggest Inzo holds back, Emmy uses stealth to enter in Nast's Shadow while Nast makes contact. Ranged contact. Nothing good will come of getting too close.
Krylo 25th Jul 2018, 8:10 PM edit delete reply
Time to introduce ourselves and our ability to unfrog with slime kisses.

And maybe offer our services with sea snakes
Jex 25th Jul 2018, 8:13 PM edit delete reply
I feel like we keep that part secret unless Emmy agrees to do it. We could still test if any kiss works though.
ZincFingers 25th Jul 2018, 9:14 PM edit delete reply
Yeah, I’m all for making contact, but keep the full extent of out ‘crews’ abilities under wraps, at least until we have had a chance to get to know our new potential friends.
Jex 25th Jul 2018, 8:12 PM edit delete reply
I'm not sure if looking like a pirate is a good or bad thing when interacting with actual pirates. Either way, they will probably not get violent as we just inadvertently helped them out so approaching seems like a safe option.
Guest 25th Jul 2018, 8:18 PM edit delete reply
we helped them out with the monsters, then helped ourselves to their stuff.
they may object.
G. Sansa 25th Jul 2018, 8:38 PM edit delete reply
If anyone understands the spoils system, it's pirates. Aside from the bandanna, none of this is worth much, and it probably belongs to crew members. The bandanna belonged to a pirate, but one who wanted to hide it from other pirates, so that may be safe too.

I say make a few notes in the journal, ask Emmy how she feels about kissing strange frogs, then armed with that knowledge, introduce ourselves.
Gandalf 26th Jul 2018, 3:45 AM edit delete reply
These guys seem reasonable enough that we can be fairly upfront, informed by Emmy's reconnaissance.

"Hey guys, we just killed a big fungus outside the door after it turned one of our guys into a frog. Hope you don't have a problem with that. Is that what happened with your frog too? We might be able to help. By the way, we grabbed a load of stuff from the crates outside; if it's yours and you want it back just say."
Hi, I'm? 25th Jul 2018, 8:21 PM edit delete reply
Why reinforce the eyes? Maybe you meant to write identity?
YetiOlwen 25th Jul 2018, 8:29 PM edit delete reply
Boldly walk into room.
"Yar, I be hearing ye be havin' sea serpent troubles, yar. Might I be of some assistance?"
Korsha 25th Jul 2018, 8:54 PM edit delete reply

These seem like the kind of guys that appreciate another pirate (as long as they don't share the booty), and they're desperate for help.

Also, if we're banging that orc at some point, I hope it's face is slightly prettier in close-up
Guest 25th Jul 2018, 8:56 PM edit delete reply
Don't come on too strongly. We don't want them to think we arrr making fun of them or trying misrepresent ourselves.
YetiOlwen 25th Jul 2018, 9:18 PM edit delete reply
Yar quit your blubbering ya landlubber. These be sea scallywags, and taking like them would put the wind in their sails. Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum and what not... yar
Krylo 25th Jul 2018, 9:14 PM edit delete reply
We are definitely banging that orc if I've anything to say about it.
YetiOlwen 25th Jul 2018, 9:21 PM edit delete reply
Shiver me timbers we need to get our hands on that booty! Yo ho!

Twyll 26th Jul 2018, 10:42 AM edit delete reply
I'd like to bang all three of 'em! Simultaneously or not, either works for me~
Benjerbro 25th Jul 2018, 8:55 PM edit delete reply
I see a temporary alliance being possible here! They'd be fun to group up with. Strength in Numbers!
Antarean 25th Jul 2018, 10:05 PM edit delete reply
Seeing as how we just took care of that fungus for them, I think they'd be open to starting a dialogue, especially with Nast's JNSQ. I vote for going for more of a charming seafarer approach than throwing around too many, "yar"'s right away though. Mention that we're with a group of adventurers who just defeated the aquamold, and also mention that we checked the crates, believing them to be unowned, and found our current outfit; after all, when you find pirate clothes you have to dress up like a pirate. (This should hopefully convey the impression that we admire pirates and might even aspire to be one.) They'd probably find out we raided the crates anyway, and while there's nothing too valuable in there, they might not appreciate it if we seem to be lying to them; being upfront about it would likely increase our chances of getting into their good graces, especially if we do it while they're still feeling grateful to us for getting rid of the aquamold.

After that, tell them we also know how to reverse the frogification, but gauge their reactions to the other stuff first. If they already seem even a little hostile or menacing we probably don't want to get in too deep with them.

Nast should go in by himself at first with Emerald and Inzo hiding nearby. No point tipping our hand too early if things get ugly.

Also, now that we have an eyepatch, we should consider doing that trick where you switch it from one eye to the other when going from a brightly lit place to a dark place. And we should be careful about any possible issues with depth perception while using the wind wand.
ZincFingers 25th Jul 2018, 10:11 PM edit delete reply
Sounds like a plan. Then again, running in with our pants down quacking like a duck is plan, just a bad one. This, however, is a good plan.
YetiOlwen 25th Jul 2018, 10:28 PM edit delete reply
+1 for pantsless duck plan
Greenkind 26th Jul 2018, 2:24 AM edit delete reply
Simultaneously +1 and -1 for pantsless duck plan

Actual +1 for diplomacy/JNSQ the pirates
Arcadian Knight 26th Jul 2018, 6:27 AM edit delete reply
+1 for this plan! And also maybe do some mild flirting with the orc!
Placeholder 25th Jul 2018, 11:03 PM edit delete reply
Casually walk in and say, "How do you do, fellow pirates." And throw in an arhh for good measure.
RicardtheDragoon 26th Jul 2018, 12:38 AM edit delete reply
Diplomacy definitely seems the way to go here. As others have said, holding Inzo and Emerald in some form of reserve would be wise. Inzo would probably be best used for charging or shooting bubbles through the open door. While Nast distracts their attention, Emerald could sneak around the side (through the water as an ooze if possible) and prepare to paralyze them.

Diplomacy with pirates is best done when has the upper hand, or at the very least a matched one. Thus, Nast should not claim to be a pirate; the clothes speak for themselves. If they say anything about the clothes being stolen or looking familiar, Nast should mention the Aquamold again and add a bit about spoils of combat (and maybe a bit about pirates being cool if these ones are nice enough). If it ends well, we can always tell the truth later. (Well, some of it.)

Nast should definitely open with the statement that he (not his party if we are being tricky) defeated the Aquamold (easily) with which the pirates had difficulty. With the pirate get-up on, I doubt they will recognize Nast as the panty thief (unless that orc was a victim). Better be sure they will be nice before offering to cure the froggy ailment of their compatriot since they will have the numerical advantage if their fourth member is cured. Nast should leverage for access to (part of) their secret stash (possibly upon the condition of eliminating whatever monsters are around it). We could add the curing as a goodwill gesture in addition to defeating the Aquamold, but Nast shouldn't offer that right away.

As to the sea serpent, Inzo's crab-mech should come in handy, but I'm not (yet) sure what Nast and Emerald could contribute. As to the issue of the possible mutiny, helping with that is going more than a bit of Nast's way right now, but perhaps something could develop in that direction later.

Anyway, being friends with a pirate captain could be very helpful later on though he don't seem to be a very successful one. On the other hand, he does seem to be Nast's kind of pirate.

What really puzzles me is how they didn't hear the fight? Was Nast and co. really that quiet or are these pirates talking that loudly?
ZincFingers 26th Jul 2018, 1:42 AM edit delete reply
Maybe they only just got to where they are now? As in they were deeper in the cave system (having traveled deeper after their own crew-mates frogification).

All in all this is pretty comparable to the plan above that I agree with. It’s a good call not immediately letting on that we have friends in the area, if the pirates are openly hostile we want to be able to get the drop on them.
Gandalf 26th Jul 2018, 3:50 AM edit delete reply
+1. Tell them we killed the Aquamold, tell them we looted the clothes but are happy to hand them back if they want, then see where the conversation goes. Hold Emmy and Inzo in reserve until we know more.
Ghest 26th Jul 2018, 1:22 AM edit delete reply
Is it just my imagination or is Inzo starting to actually like Nast?
JiggilyJoe 26th Jul 2018, 1:37 AM edit delete reply
Just have to say... Damn this comic rocks!

Oh, and +1 for banging the Orc.
Jax 26th Jul 2018, 1:49 AM edit delete reply
See.... now I am sad we took off the bunny outfit. Imagine the enemies surprise as we jump out to confront them dressed as... a sexy bunny man.
Tharvis Rose 26th Jul 2018, 3:18 AM edit delete reply
Would mentioning your grandfather be a good idea here? He was a mighty fisherman-fighter. Maybe he is a legendary (or at least well-liked) figure in the pirate community.
Gandalf 26th Jul 2018, 3:56 AM edit delete reply
Or maybe he hated pirates and was their nemesis. Not saying we shouldn't mention him, just that we shouldn't jump to conclusions about the result.
ZincFingers 26th Jul 2018, 6:51 AM edit delete reply
Keep gramps in our pocket for now, maybe we can ask some innocent, probing questions / make leading statements.
you know...

Surely pirates such as yourselves have run afoul of adventures in the past.

We have traveled a bit, but haven’t had much to do with seafarers, any advice would be nice, or is there anyone we should know about?

G. Sansa 26th Jul 2018, 12:11 PM edit delete reply
Nast: "Have you heard of [Gramp's name]?"

Them: "Curse him!"

Nast: "I fought his ghost and beat him!"

... In other words, it works either way. Even if they're smart and figure it out, they'll likely respect us for trying at least as much as they hate us for some ancestor.

If they're gonna hate us, they're gonna hate us. Let's not be timid here.
Krylo 26th Jul 2018, 7:25 AM edit delete reply
Even if Gramps is respected, it's best not to mention him.

People who ride on the coattails of their family members tend to not be overly respected.

Earn respect on our own.
ZincFingers 26th Jul 2018, 8:35 AM edit delete reply
True, but we should try and suss out if gramps was respected / liked / hated by the pirate community. It would help give us insight into our grandfathers life, and if this, or future pirate related interactions, go sideways it gives us another card to play should we get desperate.

Though it may be hard to get said information without at least rousing some suspicion as to our intent, we can’t ask too blunt a question, but if we aren’t accurate enough in our inquiries we may just end up with information on people other than gramps. (Although any information is useful).