Comic 158 - Mount the boar

29th Jun 2018, 2:47 PM in High Roads, Low Roads, Threeroads
Average Rating: 5 (1 votes) Rate this comic
Mount the boar
<<First Latest>>

Author Notes:

Morgenstern 29th Jun 2018, 2:47 PM edit delete
As Emerald flies through the air, she turns--not necessarily in a way that a normal person might, but it doesn't appear to hurt her any. She throws her tentacles out once more, grabbing onto the boar as... best she can.

Ranse dives out of the way of the charging pig, unleashing a blast of her pyrespewer as the beast rushes by. The King Slime, half atop the boar and half not, reaches out with her spare arm and grabs Ranse.

You throw a wind slicer at the oncoming pig. It hits the boar's face, dead on... and leaves a massive gash

but the boar keeps coming with barely a stumble.

You fire a wind blast downward, launching yourself into the air; as you tumble almost past the charging beast, Emerald and Ranse pull you onto it proper.

Sort of.

A little.

Not really, though.



"I am TRYING to!," replies the King Slime. "My juices seem to be losing their... erm... potency! I... I assure you this is not something I've experienced before!"

Huh. While mages' castings are limited by mana, and physical fighters tend to wear themselves out doing special attacks... it seems Emerald, too, has some kind of limit.

"J-juice potency?!," Ranse shrieks. "Areyoufuckingwithmerightnow?!"

Yeah, it should probably be called something different.

In the meantime, you slowly try and pull yourself the rest of the way onto the boar--with not much luck, as physical strength is far from your specialty. The boar continues furiously charging through the forest, with Emerald trying to coax it in a particular direction, or at least to try and slow it down... while Ranse does some backseat driving, yelling instructions at Emerald, who can't really get the boar to do anything specific regardless.

The good news is, you don't think the other boars are still chasing you.

Or, if they are, you can't really hear them over the sound of this boar's running.

So... maybe there's no good news at all. Hard to tell. You at least can't see any other boars in pursuit.


Krylo 29th Jun 2018, 3:32 PM edit delete reply
Well, we're either riding this until it exhausts itself or killing it while riding it, now.

I suggest the latter.

Emmy can still make tentacles at least, so she can try to strangle it and maybe use acid if she can still do that.

Nast can swap to an old iron sword and start stabbing it, while Ranse can swap to a dagger and do the same. Nast might even be able to use the sword to climb on better.

It's going to be messy, but it's either get messy or let this thing run its around randomly for god only knows how long.
GS 29th Jun 2018, 3:34 PM edit delete reply
All Nast has to do is cast Poison.

Then we hold on and wait.
MakePeaceAndLove 29th Jun 2018, 3:55 PM edit delete reply
+1 from me. We're in the perfect position to Poison it, though it will still take some time before the Poison damage builds up.
Caydenite 29th Jun 2018, 6:21 PM edit delete reply
Tech 30th Jun 2018, 9:18 AM edit delete reply
TGWMoC 29th Jun 2018, 3:35 PM edit delete reply
I say poison it. Riding it away from the rest of the danger is a plus, but it'll probably take a while for the poison to down it anyway, so may as well get it started.
V.V.V. 29th Jun 2018, 4:49 PM edit delete reply
And Steal. I mean, we're here...
GS 29th Jun 2018, 3:36 PM edit delete reply
Of course we have to go to Threeroads after this and make sure no one was killed or seriously hurt by the boar we teleported.

If you throw a stone into the air, you are responsible for where it lands...
G Sansa 29th Jun 2018, 5:13 PM edit delete reply
Yes. I hope that nobody was killed or maimed. Anything less is cured by a good night's sleep. It's too late to stop it from happening now so we're going to have to walk to Threebroads (and never use "return" to get there, because people would figure out we're responsible for the boar).

For now, steal and poison. If it turns around, acid in its eyes; we don't want to end up back at the caterpillar. If not, just ride it out.

Kirikou (google it, it's one of the best and littlest-known kids' movies ever, originally in French but I saw it in Spanish) temporarily tamed his giant boar by pulling on its ears. We might manage that but there is no way we're permanently taming this creature; as soon as we're off, it will either attack us or leave. I think attacking is more likely and in that case we're going to have to kill it. And meanwhile, guiding it towards Threebroads is a bad idea because we don't want to show up on an animal like the one we teleported there. So I don't see any advantage in trying to tame it. But I guess if others want to, we could try.
Wii G 29th Jun 2018, 3:38 PM edit delete reply
You only wish she was, Ranse, but maybe that should wait for a more opportune moment. ;)
JiggilyJoe 29th Jun 2018, 7:00 PM edit delete reply
LOL! Yes, at a more opportune moment, that will be worth seeing!
Eyebrows 29th Jun 2018, 3:39 PM edit delete reply
pat the boar and try to calm it down.
K3001 29th Jun 2018, 3:40 PM edit delete reply
It would be cool to control the boar's movements with limiting it's FOV. Emerald might try it with her extending tentacles. Ride it into a rock or a tree or a wall... or just ride it 'till it's out of breath.
1977 29th Jun 2018, 3:45 PM edit delete reply
How about taming it?
Apparently the boar can take 3 people on it's back.
That's better than the 2 people a cockadoo can have.
Maybe we can train so that Valley can use it as her mount.
I'm sure the warriorclass even has a few features for fighting on a mount.
Wii G 29th Jun 2018, 4:04 PM edit delete reply
An intriguing proposition, but I don't know that any of us has the skill to tame wild beasts, and the pheromone influencing this boar might interfere with any attempt to do so.
Gandalf 29th Jun 2018, 4:19 PM edit delete reply
+1 to trying to tame or at least control the boar. If it doesn't work out we can always still fall back on the more hostile options.
V.V.V. 29th Jun 2018, 4:52 PM edit delete reply
Control would be best if we have any hope of that.

But we don't need a pet that runs off every time a caterpillar makes a booty call.
Green Visitor 29th Jun 2018, 7:44 PM edit delete reply
+1 taming/steering if possible. Poison if necessary
The Kanadian 29th Jun 2018, 4:07 PM edit delete reply
Put the crown on it and ride it into the sunset.
Guest 29th Jun 2018, 4:17 PM edit delete reply
I would love to +1 that, but -1. The crown won't let us control the boar, so it would mean trouble if it bucked us off, and since the pheromones are influencing it we can't properly tame it.
Guest 29th Jun 2018, 4:28 PM edit delete reply
Poison sounds like a good plan, but do remember: with great power comes a great health pool! It would take rather a while for the poison to kill it, so either do it now or try something else - having emmy grab onto a nearby tree could help us dismount, or we could even try casting return on the boar's back since it doesn't usually take the ground with it! Personally, I say ride it out until the edge of the forest then grab a tree and let the boar ride out from under us. That ought to get us enough distance from the other boars that we can cast return uninterrupted. If our boar turns around to attack us, maybe save mana for return by having emmy get its attention from in front of a tree then flatten herself before she gets hit.
Krylo 29th Jun 2018, 7:51 PM edit delete reply
Poison actually seems to do a percentage of hp per tick, meaning it's more effective on large enemies.
Lu!dot 29th Jun 2018, 4:34 PM edit delete reply
taming this thing would be pretty good, but unless if someone has a good way of going about that then my vote is on poisoning it and waiting until it dies or passes out from exhaustion
Boaring machine 29th Jun 2018, 4:38 PM edit delete reply
Fishing rod + cooked meat or reinforced vine + bones briddle to try and control/lead the boar where we want...somewhere? Maybe possible after phero-rage wears off?
G. Sansa 29th Jun 2018, 5:17 PM edit delete reply
But where? I don't see any good coming out of this. Unless we want to ride it all the way to the goblin village and say "I heard you like pig butts and you cannot lie."
Boaring meats 29th Jun 2018, 5:10 PM edit delete reply
If we avoid poison and need to kill the bugger accumulating fresh boar meat might net us some decent gold at the bakers guild... Though we may have also created an over saturated market with the earlier teleport.
G. Sansa 29th Jun 2018, 5:20 PM edit delete reply
If we do poison it, Lagrand can de-poison it.

In terms of what to do with a huge pile of pig meat, I don't think the Bakers' Guild is the answer. As you say, they already have some. So we should give the pork to a politician: the pyre ant queen.
Vilem 29th Jun 2018, 6:36 PM edit delete reply
Emerald can try to control the boar by extending her tentacles into the inner ears. If that doesn't work, she can try her weakened paralyze juice through the inner ear, bypassing absorption through the thick hide, cartilage, and fat layers to get in the blood stream. If this fails, Nast can poison it. When it dies, teleport the party and dead boar to town. Lagrand detoxifies the pork meat, and Justice donates the tons of pork to the church to feed the poor. And kill the first boar in town if the Kings Knights and town guard have not already killed it.
Green Visitor 29th Jun 2018, 7:46 PM edit delete reply
+1, liked the tentacles in ear thing. Not much consent though.
Vilem 29th Jun 2018, 8:28 PM edit delete reply
Yes, Emerald can apply what she learned from Ranse's tentacle erotica book.
Twyll 29th Jun 2018, 6:17 PM edit delete reply
Yesss... the first step toward BOAR DRIFTING!

Hmmmm. In Nier, the tusk of a boar allowed you to control other boars. I wonder if chopping off its tusk would do something similar...

If nothing else, boar tusks are valuable, so we might as well try to give it a chop while we're up here XD
JiggilyJoe 29th Jun 2018, 6:58 PM edit delete reply
I imagine that steering it might work by either covering one eye or the other, or the old stick and carrot trick using a fishing pole and some kind of meat from our stash.
With any luck this thing will calm down after the pheromones fade. Other than that, since flinging ourselves on it's back worked, I imagine grabbing a branch and flinging up into a tree is our next best option.
JiggilyJoe 29th Jun 2018, 7:01 PM edit delete reply
Oh, and I love the animated gif of them riding the boar. I literally laughed out loud!