Comic 143 - Fight your grandpa

20th Jun 2018, 7:40 PM in High Roads, Low Roads, Threeroads
Average Rating: 5 (3 votes) Rate this comic
Fight your grandpa
<<First Latest>>

Author Notes:

Morgenstern 20th Jun 2018, 7:40 PM edit delete
You tell Grandpa that his peak form looks amazing, and that you and the rest of the family miss him.

"Aww, shucks," he says. "You tryin' to butter me up before a big fight?"

You also ask if this is meant to be a solo endeavor, or...? You normally fight with your party.

"I wantcha at your best, Nast!," he replies with a grin. "If that means bringin' your friends in, then have at it!"

...Well, alright. You switch back to the wind wand, and take a breath.

You start by conjuring a tornado, right where Grandpa is standing. As soon as the dirt starts to whip up around him, he instinctively throws his anchor... straight toward the ceiling. Your brain doesn't process WHY, until--

you spot the chain.

...A chain that seems to lengthen, as if by magic, as it leaves his hand. The anchor's point sticks into the ceiling, and with a tightened grip, the chain begins to shorten--reeling Grandpa into the air and out of your tornado like an oversized grappling hook.

"No. Fucking. Way," mumbles Valley.

Your grandfather, once clear of the growing wind storm, drops back to the floor--and soon as he does, the anchor leaves his hand anew... this time flying toward your party.


Valley twists out of the anchor's path. You step in front of Justice, and bring your shield up. However, it's not aimed at ANY of you--not specifically. The anchor barely skims past your position before the chain tautens, swinging the anchor back toward you from an angle. The curved part of it catches you around the waist, and with one more tug, the chain begins to shorten--reeling you straight toward Grandpa the way he reeled himself toward the ceiling.

"Nast!," Justice and Valley yell. Valley takes off in a sprint, and Justice sends the water elemental in a mad dash behind her.

You reach Grandpa before anyone else does, the chain winding VERY fast. He pulls you straight into his arms--you manage to use your Steal ability, nabbing a bomb... right before he hits you with a belly-to-belly suplex, chucking you backward toward your own tornado.

You instinctively blast your wind wand, slowing your airborne momentum and stopping you just short of being launched into your own attack. Though you don't end up in your tornado, you do hit the ground most ungracefully, blowing yourself nearly head-first right into the tomb floor.

Straight up a bomb, though. A round, black explosive, with a thankfully unlit fuse. Grandpa was just hauling a bomb around.

Grandpa shoves his anchor into the ground, using it to push himself to his feet--just in time to meet Valley head-on. He brings his anchor up to halt the swing of her stone zwei; they briefly struggle, but for as strong as Gramps is, he's no minitaur. She's beginning to overpower him before Justice makes a motion with her hand, signalling the water elemental to fire a blast of itself--Grandpa cursing aloud as high pressure holy water catches him in the shin.

His resolve gives way, and Valley's zweihander comes crashing toward him--but your grandpa uses her momentum and his own failing strength to his advantage, crumpling forward and letting her come in too deep for her swing to hit him full force. He takes one hand off his anchor, instead slapping it into Valley's shoulder in... almost a lobster or crab-like claw motion.

It seems to be some kind of pressure point maneuver, because Valley nearly drops her zweihander, immediately locking up as though she's paralyzed. The water elemental fires another blast.

"Gah! That REALLY shouldn't sting so much!," Grandpa yells, and hurls his anchor at the elemental. It... does not dodge very well, and the anchor takes out most of the poor little guy.

"Little Blue! NO!," Justice shouts.

The lobster pinch isn't potent for long--Valley begins to stir, reaching up to pry Grandpa's hand off her shoulder. Before she can recover fully, Grandpa jerks her forward... and straight into a tackle. Straight into a tackle into the ground, at that, sand sharking Valley right into the earth. They both disappear in a cloud of dust just as you finally get back to your feet.

There's a series of loud, dull thuds that echo from beneath the ground, all throughout the room. Justice looks both concerned and confused, trying to determine where the fight has carried itself to. The water elemental sits on the sidelines, or... what's left of the water elemental. Little Blue is not long for this world.

Grandpa suddenly bursts out of the ground, and not with the smoothness one expects from a good sand shark. He barely lands on his feet, stumbling back, using his anchor as a crutch.

Valley explodes out of the ground just behind him, landing closer to you.

"You know how to sand shark?!," Grandpa yells.

"Nast's dad taught me?," Valley replies.

Grandpa grins. "He ever get it sorted himself?"

"Nope," Valley says, grinning herself. "I kinda had to like... fill in the blanks?"

"He tried so dang hard," Gramps chuckles. "Bless his heart. That's impressive, though! Ya got some tough friends, Nast! Hot ones, too."

He rolls his neck, and reassumes a fighting stance.

Valley mutters under her breath to you, between gritted teeth. "Nast... your dad forgot to mention that like, Grandpa's a total beast? He's giving us a MOST bogus ass beating."

The fight is far from over, but... yeah, he's definitely making you work for it.



Jex 20th Jun 2018, 8:40 PM edit delete reply
I didn't expect any less but god damn. Try to flank him and do a wind slice/stab after Valley gets him in another power-struggle.
Jex 20th Jun 2018, 8:41 PM edit delete reply
Maybe also try to have the elemental obscure his vision.
ZincFingers 20th Jun 2018, 8:58 PM edit delete reply
Or have Little Blue just kamikaze rush him, the elemental isn’t gonna stick long enough for much else.

At least with the Tornado at our back we don’t have to worry about him popping up behind us.

If he tries to reel us in again see if we use our shield to stabilise our movement, slam into him with a purpose rather than as a rag doll.
Guest 21st Jun 2018, 1:17 AM edit delete reply
If he tries to reel us in again, have valley grab the chain, go for a tug of war... or just get the bomb out, that ought to make him hesitate for a second before he realises it isn’t lit, and if we’re hurtling towards him while holding it he won’t try anything fancy
CruntKnockler 21st Jun 2018, 4:13 AM edit delete reply
He said Little Blue stings more than it should, is it's holy water-ness damaging to him?I don't know if ghosts count as undead. Can we get what's left of Little Blue in the wind wand cyclone to make a holy water spout and trap him in it? Maybe it'd weaken him enough that he can't escape immediately.
TerraNova 21st Jun 2018, 1:20 PM edit delete reply
Yay! Little Blue's name confirmed! See if Justice can get him to recollect himself. It'll probably take some time, and he probably won't reach his original size, but it's probably more cost effective to do that than to resummon him.
RicardtheDragoon 20th Jun 2018, 8:45 PM edit delete reply
Even if Grandpa doesn't stick around after the fight, the fight itself is likely to teach Nast and a company a good deal.
While it's nice the elemental has a name now, losing it is a real blow to the team.
In case the paralysis from the 'pressure point maneuver' counts as a status effect, next time Gramps applies it, Justice should steal it away. That could let Valley execute a neat surprise attack.
I don't think we should use the bomb at this point since it could bring the whole dungeon on us, and while that would end the fight...
Grandpa is quite nimble compared to most of the enemies faced so far, so it would be nice to trip him up. However, we don't have a net. Maybe Valley could somehow get into a wrestling match where she could bring her strength (and the Belt of the Brawler perhaps) to bear .
ZincFingers 20th Jun 2018, 9:04 PM edit delete reply
Good call on having Justice martyr the paralysis, it would be the perfect opportunity for Valley get him in a grapple.

And I agree on saving the bomb, now is not the time or place.
MakePeaceAndLove 20th Jun 2018, 11:41 PM edit delete reply
+1, ZincFingers said what I wanted to say already
Green Visitor 21st Jun 2018, 8:31 AM edit delete reply

Little Blue may be a good coating for weapons or fists. Also. Better to splash out than to drip away.
Flug Slys 20th Jun 2018, 8:47 PM edit delete reply
I mean, Grandpa is an adventurer after all. Carrying weird stuff comes with the job. We still have Ranse's panties in there, after all; a bomb, a combat-usable expendable item, isn't anywhere near the weirdest thing to bring to a fight.
MakePeaceAndLove 20th Jun 2018, 11:41 PM edit delete reply
Yeah, it's not that strange. Plus that's going to be useful down the line - trying to steal was a good idea.
Guest 20th Jun 2018, 8:48 PM edit delete reply
Gramps gave us a bomb let's use it! Although it might compromise the grave cave. But straight up a bomb? Worth it.
Guest 20th Jun 2018, 9:11 PM edit delete reply
Probably save it till we are somewhere more structurally secure. We have no idea of its firepower.
Eyebrows 21st Jun 2018, 1:11 AM edit delete reply
also we don't have fire.
Krylo 21st Jun 2018, 2:07 AM edit delete reply

Save the bomb for when we need it.
JiggilyJoe 20th Jun 2018, 8:53 PM edit delete reply
Valley needs to grapple with him, and maybe have Justice hit him with a heal.
Crestlinger 20th Jun 2018, 9:06 PM edit delete reply
Lots of glowing candles there, blow out or elemental douse them and see if it makes a difference. If not elemental to tornado after getting Valley to get him in it, either by another sandshark maneuver having him surface directly under it or hand to hand and judo flip him into it.
Antarean 20th Jun 2018, 9:19 PM edit delete reply
Yay, the Water Elemental has a name! : D

Although if it's not going to last very much longer, maybe we should have it coat itself on one of the weapons like the stone zwei to give it a holy water bonus (which Grandpa seems weak against, being a ghost and all). Maybe even combine itself with a tornado, create a "holy water spout" as it were.
MakePeaceAndLove 20th Jun 2018, 11:48 PM edit delete reply
Out of these, I think coating the stone zwei in holy water makes the most sense. So the bonus can last more than one attack and that weapon has the potential to deal the most damage.
Caydenite 21st Jun 2018, 8:40 AM edit delete reply
+1 Zwei
1977 21st Jun 2018, 12:58 AM edit delete reply
+1 to making a HolyZwei.
G. Sansa 21st Jun 2018, 1:01 PM edit delete reply
But aren't you supposed to keep ein zwei dry?
Twelveseal 21st Jun 2018, 2:23 PM edit delete reply
This pun
V.V.V. 20th Jun 2018, 9:28 PM edit delete reply
I'm not sure if now is the time to try a new move with the wand, but I kind of want to see if we could blow Little Blue (he might spray) at Grandpa with the wand. Perhaps a quick twirl mimicking a fan?
Lapdragon 20th Jun 2018, 9:45 PM edit delete reply
Have LB suicide into the tornado, and then work on throwing gramps into the resulting holy waterspout - it should lock him down a bit, and we can maybe get in some good hits, and maybe potentially disarm him.
Don John 20th Jun 2018, 10:00 PM edit delete reply
Totally on board with the Holy Water Spout. It'll finish blue but should cause some damage.
When Gramps tries to anchor pull himself, use the shield to block the hook or knock it out. Might drop him hard back into the cyclone if he's not expecting that.
May as well have Valley EarthBreak and make it a Holy Terranado. The earth would turn to mud and maybe slow him down.
Some Random Guy 20th Jun 2018, 10:00 PM edit delete reply
Some Random Guy
Perhaps we could, if going into another direct contact situation with the old man, attempt to Steal again.
MakePeaceAndLove 20th Jun 2018, 11:50 PM edit delete reply
I think, as per jRPG rules, that each target only has one item to steal? So additional attempts either automatically fail or, at best, net you pocket change.
1977 21st Jun 2018, 12:56 AM edit delete reply
That wouldn't be bad either.
If it automatically fails then at least we know it for the future.
If it just brings money instead then I see no problem with that.
Either way we will learn if steal is a one-time-per-target-move or not.
Guest 21st Jun 2018, 12:39 PM edit delete reply
We also have the poison spell. Next time he pulls us in or we're in touching range it might not be the worst idea to hit him with that
G. Sansa 20th Jun 2018, 10:05 PM edit delete reply
Things we could do besides just fighting it out, giving it our best shot, and hoping he goes easy once we're hurting for real:

-Valley copies the crab claw move?
-get him to do crab claw again but J SM's it.
-healing hands (probably unwise for J to get in rane though)
-blow out candles with wand. He glows blue so a least we could see him better than he sees us. And possibly they're his source of youthful vigor. Which is actually kinda why I'm reluctant. .. don't want to shorten his afterlife.
-Berserker drug.
-Valley: "You stayed beyond death for one last fight. But what about one last fuck instead? Bet you could teach me some named moves there, too."
-Sneaking potion? Bomb? Frog potion?
-valley challenges him to arm wrestle.
-we challenge him to a nice game of pai sho.

I'd say of all the above: simultaneous earthbreaker and blue blow to push him into the whirlwind.
Lapdragon 20th Jun 2018, 10:27 PM edit delete reply
If the blue glow is something he can control at will, blowing out the candles would be a monumentally bad move (unless it makes him weaker).
LytharWolfe 20th Jun 2018, 10:09 PM edit delete reply
Personally, I don't think we're expected to win this, just show that we're determined to try. Keep doing what we can, but if we're about to fail, so be it. It's like a tutorial fight, in that we kinda, you know, need to fail to continue.
MakePeaceAndLove 20th Jun 2018, 11:56 PM edit delete reply
I also think we just need to give it our best shot. And we're doing decently, though Grandpa is a real tough enemy, at least we have the numbers advantage on him.
Barswanian 20th Jun 2018, 10:49 PM edit delete reply
If we can get Gramps into the tornado, do it, and toss in the old swords.
If he tries for the anchor manuever again, toss our shield to deflect it.

Valley, Justice & Little blue try and trap him; with Nast (if enough mana) sending the shield to deflect blows, etc.
Zang269 20th Jun 2018, 11:12 PM edit delete reply
The shield bounces off stuff, right? YEET that bitch at gramps, then keep him off balance with ricochet and wand boosting it.
MakePeaceAndLove 20th Jun 2018, 11:57 PM edit delete reply
-1 to throwing our shield at him. If he deflects it and knocks it down at the ground, we would have to use a lot of wind power to pick it back up, or fetch it ourselves while exposed to attacks until we grab it again.
Ghest 21st Jun 2018, 12:32 AM edit delete reply
How about throwing it past him, making it look like we missed, and using the wind wand to make it hit him from behind?
JiggilyJoe 21st Jun 2018, 12:40 AM edit delete reply
I like boomerang-in the shield into the back of gramps kinda like he did to us with the anchor.
JiggilyJoe 21st Jun 2018, 12:40 AM edit delete reply
I like boomerang-in the shield into the back of gramps kinda like he did to us with the anchor.
Jochi 21st Jun 2018, 1:00 PM edit delete reply
G. Sansa 21st Jun 2018, 6:51 AM edit delete reply
+1 on that trick, it's the kind of thing he'd like.
Green Visitor 21st Jun 2018, 8:34 AM edit delete reply
Eyebrows 21st Jun 2018, 1:13 AM edit delete reply
If he tries the move with extending the anchor again valley should drop her weapon, grab the chain, and pull as hard as she can.
Krylo 21st Jun 2018, 2:09 AM edit delete reply
I'm like 99% sure the candles are just lighting and we shouldn't waste our time on them.

That said there's lots of good ideas above for how to actually engage.
MakePeaceAndLove 21st Jun 2018, 10:54 AM edit delete reply
I agree Krylo, I think those candles are there for decoration and aren't actually important.
Korsha 21st Jun 2018, 2:41 AM edit delete reply
Team is running out of steam while Granpa is, well, already dead. Settle it fast with a tag team move.
Blow dust and debris in his face.
Valley grapple him.
Justice heal him.
He already admitted to the holy water stinging, so even though he's not evil, he's still undead and vulnerable to holy powers.
Korsha 21st Jun 2018, 2:42 AM edit delete reply
Or instead of debris, do a wind attack against granpa, but have what's left of Little Blue intercept and be blown in his face
Korsha 21st Jun 2018, 2:42 AM edit delete reply
Or instead of debris, do a wind attack against granpa, but have what's left of Little Blue intercept and be blown in his face
Twelveseal 21st Jun 2018, 8:38 AM edit delete reply
Actually, weird thought... Can Justice restore Blue by healing him?
G. Sansa 21st Jun 2018, 6:56 AM edit delete reply
Agree on the Valley grapple. He obviously outlevels her by a lot but she has the strength advantage and the belt. But as for Nast's part in this, just repeatedly steal until you get the anchor or something important. (Phylactery? heh.)
ROE 21st Jun 2018, 6:56 AM edit delete reply
have little blue use the last of himself to hydro blast gramps in the ghost dick
G. Sansa 21st Jun 2018, 6:59 AM edit delete reply
Maybe: try to move the tornado? Seems like making up moves on the fly sometimes works in this setting. Swirly traveling movement with the wand.
G. Sansa 21st Jun 2018, 7:02 AM edit delete reply
Especially because this is explicitly a training fight. But obviously first we have to get him into position. Valley sand sharks out of the way?
Twelveseal 21st Jun 2018, 8:36 AM edit delete reply
Maybe use the shield ricochet aimed for the back as a distraction to try and reposition him closer to Blue and Valley. Have Valley Earthbreaker him, with Blue trying to turn the dust and dirt she kicks up into a nice, clingy mud pack mixed with holy water. If it sticks to him, we may have some nice DoT on top of the initial hit.
GS 21st Jun 2018, 11:56 AM edit delete reply
That sounds quite clever!
Caydenite 21st Jun 2018, 8:49 AM edit delete reply
We've got him surrounded right now, I say we press that advantage. Valley engages in melee, keeping him there even if it means dropping the weapon and grappling, whilst Justice and LB sneak attack from behind with everything they've got. Nast wind slices as much as mana will allow.
Twelveseal 21st Jun 2018, 9:30 AM edit delete reply
Keep in mind that he can sandshark an chain swing.
Guy Incognito 21st Jun 2018, 10:20 AM edit delete reply
Have Valley seduce him with her bared... assets. Once he takes a mouthful, the mystical healing factors should act as a poison. Game. Set. Match.
MakePeaceAndLove 21st Jun 2018, 10:55 AM edit delete reply
While that would be hilarious I doubt it'd actually work, and either way, I don't want to cheat a win in this fight.
Guy Incognito 21st Jun 2018, 11:35 AM edit delete reply
Finding alternative mechanics to win a fight you're overmatched in isn't cheating, it's a core feature of RPGs.
GS 21st Jun 2018, 11:04 AM edit delete reply
-1. Don't disrespect Valley's warrior honour.
Some Random Guy 21st Jun 2018, 12:23 PM edit delete reply
Some Random Guy
Mixed feelings on the tactical advantages, but still -1s all around from me. We definitely should not do this, as it would be a massive insult to either Valley’s warrior honor or to our old man’s warrior honor.
Some Random Guy 21st Jun 2018, 12:28 PM edit delete reply
Some Random Guy
Also, I don’t think Gramps would fall for that.
Guy Incognito 21st Jun 2018, 2:18 PM edit delete reply
I don't really have a strong desire for this to happen, it was presented as a joke, really. However, I fail to see how this would insult anybody's "warrior honor". If Gramps is silly enough to fall for such a tactic, he deserves the loss. Honestly, given Gramps's personality, I think he'd think such a victory is worth a huge belly laugh. And as far as Valley is concerned, a true warrior is uses any advantage they can get to win, they shouldn't be beholden to an arbitrary set of rules about what honorable and what's not. Hell, if she stuck to the traditional, honorable thing to do, she'd probably be a ranch minitaur instead of a warrior. Just my 2 cents.
GS 21st Jun 2018, 11:04 AM edit delete reply
Oh...! We might want to ask Gramps whether he had any children besides Hurley.

In addition, it'd be cool to know whether he wrote down all of his adventures. Given we didn't know about them, we were probably too young to understand when Gramps passed away.
Some Random Guy 21st Jun 2018, 12:20 PM edit delete reply
Some Random Guy
To know more about our good ol’ grandpa is a good thing. It will allow us to figure out about how important our family is/was in this part of the world. It will also know if we have any relatives pertaining to these recent Panty Crimes.

Plus, it would be a nice touch to have some ‘when-I-was-your-age’ stories before the spirit of Nast’s grandpa moves unto a higher plane.
JiggilyJoe 21st Jun 2018, 2:04 PM edit delete reply
Good idea to see if gramps had other children. After all he was apparently quite involved with merfolk maybe he had a mermaid wife or lover? I could imagine that a mermaid that transitioned to legs and being on land might be infatuated with underpants. Also we had that shark dude attack us. That's another tie to the sea...
Jax 21st Jun 2018, 2:52 PM edit delete reply
Have Valley flash the tits... might distract him while you fire another tornado at his feet and this time have blue jump in. Holy water whirlwind baby!